trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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