He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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