the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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