Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
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