I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
