do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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