she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize