you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
