some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
