glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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