Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
