sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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