I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
