it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize