I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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