I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
