How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Let's get the cat blown out
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
there is another microwave in the elevator.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
