Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize