And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
