I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
