On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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