Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
