the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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