Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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