lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
