oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize