so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize