I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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