you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
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