Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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