Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize