I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
