David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Im part way to drunk.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
