She's JV to your varsity
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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