I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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