elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize