We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
