The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
