Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
