I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Sober January is a disaster.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
