ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
