Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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