My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
