possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
