you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
