I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
