i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize