I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
