its not stalking. its research.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
