Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
