"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
