I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
