Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
it's great music for shaving your balls
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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