why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
