My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
