Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
