I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
