Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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