I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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